He waved an arm and spoke with a peculiar resonance. She saw herself building up a life upon that —a life restrained, kindly, beautiful, a little pathetic and altogether dignified; a life of great disciplines and suppressions and extensive reserves. I was always told my mother died the day I was born. ” Or someone, she thought with disgust. But her great-aunt was nodding, as if this was what she had expected. It is enough to make a man throw away canvas and brushes into the bottomless precipices, enough to make one weep with despair at his utter and absolute impotence. . I tell you that I love you, Anna, and I believe that you love me. Once I banged on the door so hard I split it in two. I’m not a psycho. Here was an experienced man of the world, her friend, who evidently took a great interest in this supreme topic and was willing to give her the benefit of his experiences! Why should not she be at her ease with him? Why should not she know things? It is hard enough anyhow for a human being to learn, she decided, but it is a dozen times more difficult than it need be because of all this locking of the lips and thoughts.
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